Last autumn I experienced something of what so many are going through in these difficult economic times. In just one PowerPoint slide the rug was pulled out from under my plans and I was left trying to restart a freelance career in much-changed circumstances. With three kids at home and one at uni I was worried... In fact I pretty much went into a tailspin.
Fast forward to this Easter ( I wish I could have...) and a heaven-sent contact with Whistling Frog Productions up in Bradford has led to an amazingly creative month, with a series (Easter Diaires) going out on BBC Radio 4 Extra, an ad for Easter running on my local Heart FM, and a song coming from that about to be shared with an unsuspecting congregation. My point is not how brilliant I've been at turning things around. Quite the reverse. The point is that actually that none of this would have happened if I had had my way last September.
I don't know where God will lead me next. Or what challenges there are ahead - I hope I am learning that my idea of success and God's aren't the same thing. I think I've also found that, like the first disciples, you can't always see Easter Sunday from Good Friday.
If you're in a dark place this Easter, it's ok to pray, as Jesus did, for the pain to go away. You may find, as I did, that Psalm 43 has something for you. And in time, it's possible, as on the cross, that God will turn a curse into a blessing.
I leave you with the last verse of that song...
Sometimes our walk is with worry and fear -
We long for you, our prince of peace, to draw near.
And though in that place we can't see where you'll lead
We know you are risen, are risen indeed.
Paul Arnold is a freelance radio producer.